j2n4me presents a caffeinelounge play featuring Atrocity-of-life and Jael555 with j2n4me as the lawyer guy Can't Touch This: The Play The Scene: Atrocity-of-life is a scottish fox herder. He's talking with his best friend, Jael555. Hello, Jael555, how do you feel about my foxes? Foxes are nice, aren't they? So fuzzy and foxy... beautiful, but stinky. Oh, not mine, I let mine bathe in the river I'd never let mine be stinky. I am glad they banned fox hunting! Such a barbaric sport I like foxes :) * Jael555walks away Jael555, bye! But later that night... Oh no! My fox pen! I have left it open! * Atrocity-of-liferuns to the fox pen I hope none have escaped! * Atrocity-of-lifestarts to count them 1... 2... 3... 4... 6... 7... Oh no! Number 5 is missing Where are you james brown?!?! JAAAAMEEESS BROOOOWWWWN Meanwhile, at Jael555's house.. * Jael555is sitting at home whats that? scratching? * Jael555goes to the window...... hmmmm..... Tis a fox! oh my god, it's breaking through the window >_< * Jael555grabs the neares object..... a hockey mask?! and swings it around wildly.... aaaah @_@ She missed! * Jael555throws it The fox is angry now. * Jael555throws some beets at it for good measure The fox is really angry, foaming at the mouth. It lunges toward Jael555, fangs exposed * Jael555gets attacked, and bitten byt eh fox The next day, at the doctor.. doctor, doctor, help me! Okay. I have this huge laceration on my face.... What's a laceration? its super ugly. :( Ooh, how ugly. YOU GOT RABIES, YO! ---------------------------------- Jael55 comes in and says DOCTOR, THERES SOME RED THING ON MAH HED!!! I ask 'er if she got bit, and she says yeys YOU GOT RABIES, says my nurse tess! YOU GOT RABIES! Y-Y-Y-YOU GOT RABIES, YO! YOU GOT RABIES! Y-Y-Y-YOU GOT RABIES, YO! BREAK IT DOWN, WOLF MAN! * Atrocity-of-lifebreaks it down PEACE! * Jael555storms out of the doctors office Later, at Atrocity-of-life's farm... I sure hope James brown is okay That little bugger can take care of himself, but... * Jael555shows up wolfman! Jael555! One of my foxes is missin'! Jael555, could you help me find it, please? why the hell was your fox at my house last night! Oh thank god, you found james brown! He escaped from my pen! It has caused me such worry, especially when I found him missing... Do you have him? acctually, he did a hit and run dealy he knawed my face off, dipstick!!! What?! James Brown? Neevveeer! I know my little guy, he wouldn't ever do that! thats it! I thouhgt you was mah friend! I am your friend! I'm gonna sue!! At j2n4me's awesome lawyer place... :music:I have a lawyer plaaace... * Jael555enters Oh, a client. How may I help you? hello? I would like some of your awesome services All right. Well, I have several hosting plans. Is this for small buisiness or for personal use? well, personal use I guess Okay. That comes with FTP, and also MySQL. I'm sueing a jerk. Oh, you're sueing someone. yeeees. That's different. So, what did he do to you? Push you down stairs? Set your hair on fire? Set stairs on fire then push you down them? his fox mangled my cheek. Oh. Okay. We has to be there at 3 AM later tomorrow. horray! we're gonna kick some ass! and some fox! Meanwhile, at caffeinelounge's law place.. caffeinelounge, I be havin' some troubles. Mah lady friend, I mean, EX-friend has done gone and got bit my one of my fox. Now she be suin' me! Coulda give me help? Okay, I can do that for you. How many dollars shall you pay? Oh, I dun think that I would cost me money Well then you SUCK. Give me forty bucks. Forty bucks?! But that's a whole week's whipping payage! ** caffeinelounge has left [connection closed] oh noes, my lawyer gone and leave me cause I dun pay him soon enough! Lo. So, you wants a lawyer, eh? Oh yes I see. My last lawyer dun gun run off Okay. Three AM. I hope I get to keep my lovable foxes. That morning, at 3 am, when all the dAmn idiots are dancing and the nichka is mispelling.. I AM JUDGE. THIS IS COURT> MY COURT MY RULE DEFENDANT, WHO ARE YOU? I am but a simple fox herder SILENCE MY COURT MY RULE WHAT IS OTHER ONE? me! I'm the rabies chic! SILENCE MY COURT MY RULE DEFENDANT LAWYER HOW IS YOUR CLIENT Guilty, your honor. I MEAN INNOCENT INNOCENT INNOCENT YOU ALL SUCK! * lesbian1sets herself on fire as she runs away ** lesbian1 has left [connection closed] WHAT IS EVIDENCE * Jael555steps forth and shows her ugly face * j2n4mesteps forth and shows Jael555's ugly face WOW IS THAT UGLY I gun object your honour, she was been ugly befor'! A GOOD POINT I SAY IT'S A TIE ATROCITY GIVES JAEL THE MONEY AND JAEL GIVES ATROCITY THE FOX Jael555: GIVE FOX Atrocity-of-life: GIVE MONEY But how da much money? Atrocity-of-life: ONE FOXWORTH OF MONEY * Atrocity-of-lifegives da fox-pence to Jael555 Jael555: GIVE FOX OR GO JALE I dun have the fox YOU HAVE TEN MINUTES FIND FOX * Jael555goes to just outside the door.... :strip: * Jael555is promptly attacked by fox.... I have teh fox!!! GIVE FOX * Jael555give the dumb fox to Atrocity-of-life Mr. Brown! I luvvums you sooo *huggles fox* NOW GET OFF MY COURT So, Atrocity-of-life and Jael555 go back to being friends Jael555, I be a thanking you on account of gettin' mah fox back I guess I really ought to not sleep in the nude, eh? oh dem fox loves dem stuff dem nude. but now I'm ugly. :( Jael555: You always were, my dear