  <j2n4me> All right!
  <j2n4me> Welcome to The Diamond Gravedigger
  <j2n4me> an original play by :devtechnographer:
  <j2n4me> I'm j2, and I'm probably your host or something.
  <j2n4me> Here's the deal:
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  <j2n4me> In a city of criminals or something, Tech is a notorious grave digger
  <j2n4me> (rusty frank)
  ** *jamaisXvu (Pants™ Collector's Edition, deviantART Loather) has joined chat:Theater
  <j2n4me> and he's just going about his daily whatevers
  <j2n4me> and stuff.
  <j2n4me> And Lavos12 is the police guy
  <j2n4me> (officer steve).
  <j2n4me> Let's go!
  <j2n4me> Let's go!
  ** ~technographer (TIME PARADOX, Digital Painter) has joined chat:Theater
  <technographer> o crap crackers chek out this stanley steamer van it is nice i will take it 2 sell it for expensive monies and get a nice casserole 4 my wife
  * technographer punches the Stanley Steamer van's driver side window as a squad car pulls up, the cop stopping to watch the man cut his hands up and fumble through the window frame
  ** ~Lavos12 (Official Janitor Of The Damned, General Poet) has joined chat:Theater
  <technographer> o man i hope he didnt not see taht
  <Lavos12> Oh man, I so saw that guy steal a van.
  <technographer> bonkers i am go 4 the escape
  * Lavos12 chases
  * technographer slowly pulls out, being careful not to hit the squad car, and takes off, a Stanley Steamer employee rolling out of the opened back door
  <technographer> hah dam chek it out tehres a home depot i wil go hide in a 4tress of mulch 4 the cop wont find me in
  * Lavos12 swerves to avoid the employee and hits another car, going through the air and doing one front flip, but still landing in back of the van
  * technographer dives out of the van and rolls across the parking lot, jumping up to make a grave digger-like cackle and sprint into the Home Depot
  <technographer> o man i use 2 play here wen i was a kid tehy have fancy light swicthes here o carp coppers is aprohacing
  * Lavos12 careens into the parking lot, parallel parks, and goes in
  <technographer> hey nyse garending departmint tis is where i will find teh mulchis
  <Lavos12> Oh man, they have tini tractors here. That's a win!
  * technographer cackles around the store and finds the gardening aisle
  <Lavos12> First, I'll check every other aisle except the gardening one, and then I'll probably forget about that one.
  * technographer dives into a stack of mulch sacks, to find a dead body
  <technographer> o zinkers a ded body i will go go gajet inspect it
  * Lavos12 goes into the doorknob aisle to investigate
  * technographer inspects the body to find an diamond necklace
  <technographer> chek it out i gots som neklace i can trade 4 my wife
  <Lavos12> Where could he be? It's obviously not the cackle, coming from the gardening aisle, so I'll check the patio one.
  * Lavos12 investigates the patio aisle
  <technographer> my wife wil prabobaly leik dis bcuz it will go wit her Diamond Jewelry
  <technographer> 4 cuz its diamond
  <Lavos12> Despite the size of this store, and the high quality of this porcelain, I've already checked everywhere.
  <Lavos12> Except the gardening aisle.
  <Lavos12> Which I will check after I pause dramatically for effect.
  * Lavos12 inspects the gardening aisle
  <technographer> o bangladesh coppers getting cloas i better ditch ded bitch
  * technographer pushes the body out into the aisle, in clear view of the cop, then yells as he jumps out and runs, "sry i dunno wat she wuz doin tehre prabobaly diein or summin"
  <Lavos12> Wait! Who was dieing? I can't understand your mysteriously broken english!
  * Lavos12 runs through the aisle
  * Lavos12 checks the dead body
  * technographer jumps into the back of the Stanley Steamer truck with a cackle, which has mysteriously made its way back around the parking lot
  <Lavos12> Ok, yeah.
  * Lavos12 keeps running
  <technographer> hey coppers wats rong iz my sauce 2 hot 4 u
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  <Lavos12> Don't worry! I'll catch up, but I'll always stay just a bit too far behind!
  * technographer drives up a fallen tree that had toppled from the force of his voracious cackle and launches over a McDonalds, landing in the Atlantic ocean, and subsequently being crushed by the water pressure
  * Lavos12 jumps into his car, drives to wherever, and stops
  <Lavos12> Bollocks.
  <Lavos12> I would of liked to have seen that.
  <Lavos12> Cause that would of been cool.
  ** =crazyquesadilla (is younger than you would guess., Self-proclaimed Genius) has joined chat:Theater
  * technographer - A mysterious cackle emanates from the ripples in the water as the camera pans out...
  <j2n4me> THE END.
  <Lavos12> This is one mystery that is never going to be solved...